Guest Post: Beware of Counterfeit Cabbages

Like all leading bloggers, I am occasionally contacted by people offering to write guest posts. Up until now I have resisted these requests but recently I was offered an opportunity to publish an important message which I believe it is strongly in the public interest to circulate as widely as possible and I happily agreed to allow its inclusion.

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November 13, 2017. #Brexit, Politics, Silly. Leave a comment.

Exclusive Interview: The Pound

You know what I’ve never done on this site before? An interview.

That’s because nobody wants to talk to you.

Today, and for the first time ever, I bring you an exclusive interview with The Pound.

Bullshit! You can’t interview The Pound.

Are you its agent then?

You know perfectly well what I mean.

Oh, right. Let me guess. The Pound is an abstract concept incapable of thought or communication and hence you can’t interview an abstract concept?

No. You can’t interview The Pound because it’s effing dead!

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October 21, 2017. #Brexit, Money, Silly. 2 comments.

The Real Brexit “Plan”

OK, so I am not great at prognostication, but it is not like I am charging you to read this stuff, or like your money is going to be worth anything soon anyway, so let’s get our crystal balls out and see if we can peer into the deeper darker realms of Batshit Brexit and try to divine what the real Brexit “plan” is.

Woo!

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September 23, 2017. #Brexit, Money, Silly. 2 comments.

Brexit Fact Check: The Rotting Fruit

Headline:

Corresponding fact:

  • Boris is talking out of his arse again.

OK. I’m making light of this but I’m not sure that this is funny any more.

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September 16, 2017. #Brexit, Money, Silly. Leave a comment.

Brexit Fact Check: The Low Hanging Fruit

Headline:

Corresponding fact:

  • Pound now: €1.1373 [1]

Rich! I’m rich! I’m… Oh sod it. I can’t even be bothered to be sarcastic about this drivel. It’s just too depressing.

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September 15, 2017. #Brexit, Money, Silly. Leave a comment.

Economic Illiteracy

BBC reports:

Oooh! Let me guess. £80bn for the right bollock and £55bn for left one?

No?

Well somebody has dropped a right bollock somewhere…

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August 20, 2017. #Brexit, Money, Politics, Silly. 1 comment.

Ask a stupid question…

It’s the silly season and everybody is on holiday, either physically or mentally.

So what do we have on the BBC Business News? Stupid questions, that’s what.

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August 13, 2017. #Brexit, Media, Money, Politics, Silly. 2 comments.

A River in Egypt

If you look in the Nile today you might find a moses basket bobbing gently along, unheeded by the wider and wiser populace. Don’t worry. It isn’t an abandoned baby in danger of being eaten by crocodiles. It is today’s newspaper reviews courtesy of the BBC.** Given that this is the British press, you won’t be surprised to hear that there is bullshit among the bullrushes. Any croc foolish enough to take a bite out of this crock would not enjoy the taste. Most of the papers feature Theresa May looking even more ashen faced and Palpatine like than normal but lets see who is really in denial…

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June 10, 2017. Media, Politics, Silly. Leave a comment.

WTF?

I always said that this election was a stupid idea.

No shit, Sherlock! What do you want for that pearl of wisdom, a bloody biscuit?

Actually, that’s not a bad idea. I’ve not had breakfast. Let me get a biscuit. BRB.

[Returns from biscuit tin empty handed]

It transpires that I am unable to decide which sort of biscuit I want. Some were too hard and some were too soft. Others were decidedly flaky. Then I lost confidence that I ever wanted a biscuit in the first place. Also the tin is showing signs of weakness and instability.

FFS! Is that some sort of stupid metaphor?

It might be. What was the question again?

Just say something vaguely coherent about the election and go back to bed.

OK. The United Kingdom has looked into the abyss and it has spoken with one voice. It has said “Ummm”.

There is going to be another stupid election now, isn’t there?

Why are you asking me? Just go back to bed.

June 9, 2017. Politics, Silly. Leave a comment.

Spurious new ailments for hypochondriacs

Yes. This blog is giving medical advice now*. And if you follow it you really will need to see a doctor!

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September 6, 2016. Silly. Leave a comment.

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