Woo Yeah!

What is this strange, unfamiliar feeling? I feel that I remember it from the distant past. Oh yes! It the unexpected joy of waking up to election results that are, so far, not completely shit.



May 3, 2019. #Brexit, Politics, Sensible. Leave a comment.

So how do we sort out Brexit then?

Brexit has gone a bit quiet. It is almost like nobody knows what to do next. There is clearly no majority in Parliament for any option. So… What then? Just snooze into “no deal”? Screw that! Here is my plan.


March 2, 2019. #Brexit, Politics, Sensible, Uncategorized. 1 comment.

No-Deal Brexit Plan

I have done all my no-deal Brexit contingency planning. I am willing to share this with you but the plan relies on absolute secrecy so you must sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement not to tell anybody. Please tick the box below, print and sign the article, and then fax it back to me before reading further.

☐  I agree to be legally bound by this bullshit NDA.

(Sign your real name, and not “Mickey Mouse”, here)


February 16, 2019. #Brexit, Politics, Silly. Leave a comment.

The Stupidest Day of The Year

Some of you may remember me suggesting that February 14th was the Stupidest Day of The Year*. That was not meant to be interpreted as a challenge!


February 14, 2019. #Brexit, Politics, Sensible, Silly. Leave a comment.

Dead Towns

When money is tight it seems that the first thought is not to cut back on expensive luxuries but to protect luxuries at the expense of essential things. Hence, I was dismayed but not completely surprised to read that English bus travel is up for the chop again.

This is how small to medium sized towns die!


February 9, 2019. #Brexit, Money, Politics, Sensible, Travel. Leave a comment.

Businesses with Opinions

People get a bit worked up about AI. Computers having ideas seems dangerous. (Or adorably stupid if you read AI Weirdness.) We miss the point that the really dangerous non-human entities we don’t want expressing too many opinions are businesses.

Now, of course, the board of directors of any business is required to form opinions as to what is best for the business. Indeed, they cannot direct the business without doing so and they cannot report to the shareholders without making those opinions public. I’m not objecting to that. What they should not be doing is giving vent to the personal opinions of their individual board members on topics unconnected to the company.

What’s this actually about then?


January 26, 2019. #Brexit, Counterfeit cabbages, Money, Politics, Sensible. 1 comment.

Brexit Quiz: Which is Most Comprehensively Stuffed?


January 17, 2019. #Brexit, Politics, Rigged Polls, Silly. Leave a comment.

Election. February 14th. Right?

It has been brought to my attention that February 14th is a Thursday.

You mean that you were idly staring at a calendar like a gormless chump?

That’s what I said.

It is has also been brought to my attention that the UK Government is not going to last much longer if it keeps on punching itself in the face.

You mean that you have been watching the News?

That’s what I said. Please stop interrupting.

So, we will be needing a General Election and elections are always held on Thursdays in the UK. That’s an actual rule! Jesus told St George to tell the Archbishop of Canterbury that it had be be that way, or something. You can play fast and loose with everything else (and do they ever!) but Thursdays are sacred. Also, three weeks notice is required.



January 11, 2019. #Brexit, Politics, Silly. 1 comment.

New Year, New You

You know what this place needs?



Surely, nobody wants to sponsor this crap?

Hey Kids! Its Captain Cabbages!



December 30, 2018. #Brexit, Counterfeit cabbages, Silly. Leave a comment.

What Price Science? (£15, apparently)

Brexit is not single anomalous monstrosity existing without context or precedent. Brexit is just the worst example of a long-standing problem with the British character. It is a perfect example of the impulse that not only says “Sod other people”, it also says “Sod my own future! Just give me what I happen to desire, right now!”

There is no greater example of this deep-running cultural flaw than the never-ending attempts to monetise education and learning: “Never mind that we need to educate the next generation if the nation is to have a future, let’s just turn it into a cash cow now and sell shares in it!”


December 21, 2018. #Brexit, London, Money, Sensible. 2 comments.

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