SEO Speedwagon: Trump News Edition

I’m giving Boris the day off. You know who’s getting it this time?

No! I’m sick of all this Trump News!

Oh come on. You love it really. You want to read all the latest Trump News!

No. I’m fed up with him! Trump is mentally subnormal. He is not only an embarrassment to his country. He is not only an embarrassment to his species. He is an embarrassment to all eukaryotic lifeforms. ELIZA would beat him in a Turing Test.



August 28, 2018. Clownhat SEO, Media, Politics, Silly. Leave a comment.

Recognise your own reflection?

The headline on today’s Sunday Times is as follows:

Now, I’m not giving money to Murdoch to read the whole article but there are enough details in the first three paragraphs to get an idea what it is about. It is based on a YouGov poll that shows polarisation of voters with some swinging to the far-right.


July 22, 2018. #Brexit, Media, Politics, Sensible. 1 comment.

Too Hot

Ugh! It is 31°C in here and I can’t be bothered to slag off Brexit again.

People say it is like 1976 but I remember 1976; All the crayons melted into one big blob of wax¹ at my primary school. The government melted too, but the comparison does not feel right. Jim Callaghan was a decent person who did his best in an impossible situation where the rules had been rewritten so that he simply wasn’t allowed to win. Theresa May may feel that she too is “in an impossible situation where the rules have been rewritten so that she simply isn’t allowed to win” although that would suggest a greater level of self-awareness than she has shown previously. Besides, the comparison breaks down at “decent person”. It is the difference between trying to do the right thing for the country in the face of impossible odds and just trying to paper over the cracks and hang on for another few weeks in the face of impossible odds.

Anyway, I can’t be bothered to slag off Brexit today so I suggest you all go and read Marina Hyde in the Guardian instead. She always knows what is going on.

¹ – Fun fact: That blob of melted wax is now Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs.

July 7, 2018. #Brexit, Links, Media, Politics, Sensible. Leave a comment.

Boris Discovers Eldorado

counterfeit cabbages

“Conquistador Instant Cabbages? Sounds like a world-leading British product!”

Boris seems to be the only one who still dreams that Brexit will make the UK (or what is left of it) rich beyond the dreams of avarice. Sure, other people still trot out this nonsense but only Boris actually seems to still believe it. In fact, Boris is so convinced that we will soon be rolling in money that he seems to think that the nation has spare cash to buy him a private jet. But where is this wealth to come from?


May 28, 2018. #Brexit, Media. Leave a comment.

Cambridge Ana… Oooh! Squirrel!

Now, I am no great fan of Facebook. I’m pretty sure that the list of things they have done wrong is only going to grow. By the end it will range from the merely dickish to the really quite serious and they do need to answer for the more serious stuff.

Nonetheless, people need to remember that it is not Facebook that is accused of undermining the integrity of elections, and democracy more generally, in multiple nations. In this context at least, Facebook are just some dingbats who were too lazy/stupid to see that they were enabling the real bad guys to do this.

We are in danger of getting distracted here!

People who have knowingly engaged in conspiracies to subvert elections or referenda, whether in their own countries or elsewhere, are among the most dangerous people in the world. We need to see them go to jail for a very long time. We cannot allow them to wriggle out of their responsibilities by diffusing the blame over the internet in general, even if some parts of the internet have been culpably incurious about what their services were actually being used for. Facebook need to sort themselves out but this is not fundamentally about Facebook.


March 30, 2018. IT, Law, Media, Politics, Rigged Polls, Sensible. Leave a comment.

Groundhog Day

counterfeit cabbage

“I say. Have any of you chaps seen my cabbages?”

Every day is the same.

You wake up to the Today programme on Radio 4.

The News is more about what it is alleged is going to happen today than about what happened overnight or yesterday. The News says that today is the day that the government (in the form of Theresa May, David Bloody Davis, Boris Counterfeit Cabbages Johnson or some other dingbat) will finally announce wtf Brexit (means Brexit) actually means. Everybody gathers round to finally find out what the hell is going on and every day it is a complete waste of everybody’s time. There is a mixture of platitudes and vague denials but no solid, meaningful statement as to what the UK wants out of Brexit. Nothing! I honestly have less idea what Brexit means now than I did two years ago.

I don’t know. Michel Barnier doesn’t know. Donald Tusk doesn’t know. Angela Merkel doesn’t know. David Davis doesn’t know. Theresa May doesn’t know. Boris Johnson appears to be trying to remember where he left his trousers.

Maybe they will work it out tomorrow.

(Update: They didn’t. There was just some more waffle about the transition period which only departed from the vague to take a minor detour into the delusional. Was there ever anything simultaneously as terrifying and as boring as Brexit?)

You go to bed.

Every day is the same.

February 20, 2018. #Brexit, Counterfeit cabbages, Media. Leave a comment.

Ask a stupid question…

It’s the silly season and everybody is on holiday, either physically or mentally.

So what do we have on the BBC Business News? Stupid questions, that’s what.


August 13, 2017. #Brexit, Media, Money, Politics, Silly. 2 comments.

A River in Egypt

If you look in the Nile today you might find a moses basket bobbing gently along, unheeded by the wider and wiser populace. Don’t worry. It isn’t an abandoned baby in danger of being eaten by crocodiles. It is today’s newspaper reviews courtesy of the BBC.** Given that this is the British press, you won’t be surprised to hear that there is bullshit among the bullrushes. Any croc foolish enough to take a bite out of this crock would not enjoy the taste. Most of the papers feature Theresa May looking even more ashen faced and Palpatine like than normal but lets see who is really in denial…


June 10, 2017. Media, Politics, Silly. Leave a comment.

President Ubu

Have just realised who Trump reminds me of…

February 18, 2017. Art, Media, Politics. Leave a comment.

The Sunday Game

Here is a fun game that you can play on a Sunday. (Actually, you can play it on any day of the week and it is more depressing than fun.) As I was saying, here is a game you can play blah blah whatever:


October 2, 2016. Media. Leave a comment.

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