Boris Discovers Eldorado

counterfeit cabbages

“Conquistador Instant Cabbages? Sounds like a world-leading British product!”

Boris seems to be the only one who still dreams that Brexit will make the UK (or what is left of it) rich beyond the dreams of avarice. Sure, other people still trot out this nonsense but only Boris actually seems to still believe it. In fact, Boris is so convinced that we will soon be rolling in money that he seems to think that the nation has spare cash to buy him a private jet. But where is this wealth to come from?

Boris sort of has an answer, of shorts. He tells the Telegraph “We have neglected Latin America’s realms of gold for too long(Paywalled)

Realms of gold?

It seems to be a pitch for trade with the beleaguered economies of Latin America.

It seems that Boris imagines that they still have loads of gold left over that the Spanish didn’t get around to stealing centuries ago. It seems that Boris imagines that gold heading in our direction. So, assuming he isn’t planing to full on conquistador and just steal it, what will we trade in return? I can’t tell you whether he has an answer to that or not. The Telegraph’s paywall doesn’t let me read that far and I’m certainly not paying real money to read about imaginary gold.

We don’t know which vision of Eldorado Boris subscribes to. He likes to remind us all that he is expensively educated and well read, so I assume that he is familiar with the version of Eldorado in Candide by Voltaire, in which the real treasure is not the gold but that the people live peacefully. If so, I would remind him that Candide and his friends foolishly decide leave Eldorado with some gold and (for reasons that are not entirely clear) some large red sheep, only to loose their wealth almost as soon as they return to the harsh realities of the outside world. I feel a metaphor coming on but, of course, Boris could just as easily be dreaming of the cancelled BBC soap opera of the same name.

So what are we here for then?

This.

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May 28, 2018. #Brexit, Media.

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