Errors

A friend writes:

Just tried to order a pizza online. Checked out and clicked the payment button only to get a “page not found” page!

Such reports are impossible to investigate unless the user supplies the official HTTP (Heating, Topping, Tracking Pizza) error code. For future reference the codes are as follows:

  • 300 Multiple Choices – User must select toppings
  • 304 Not Modified (RFC 7232) – No the olives are not genetically modified. Please stop asking if each individual ingredient is genetically modified.
  • 305 Use Proxy (since HTTP/1.1) – Please send somebody else to collect the pizza as you are ASBOed from the town centre.
  • 306 Switch Proxy – No. Not him. He’s also ASBOed!
  • 308 Permanent Redirect (RFC 7538) – No we do not sell weed. Go and annoy that bloke in the chipshop instead. Yes, the one with the cricket bat.
  • 400 Bad Request – User asked for pineapple
  • 402 Payment Required – User must pay for pizza
  • 404 Not Found – Lost the mozzarella (It rolls godammit!)
  • 405 Method Not Allowed – The cheese has to go on top
  • 406 Not Acceptable – Anything to do with anchovies basically
  • 408 Request Timeout – Pizza was forgotten and burned in oven
  • 409 Conflict – A punch-up in the kitchen
  • 410 Gone – Somebody else has already eaten it
  • 412 Precondition Failed (RFC 7232) – I said “No anchovies” godammit!
  • 413 Payload Too Large (RFC 7231) – Too many toppings and now it has collapsed
  • 416 Range Not Satisfiable (RFC 7233) – Does not fit in the box
  • 417 Expectation Failed – You expected a pizza?
  • 418 I’m a teashop
  • 421 Misdirected Request (RFC 7540) – This is a launderette
  • 422 Unprocessable Entity (WebDAV; RFC 4918) – Something about anchovies again
  • 424 Failed Dependency (WebDAV; RFC 4918) – Need the base before the toppings
  • 426 Upgrade Required – We only sell stuffed crusts now. That will be an extra £2!
  • 429 Too Many Requests (RFC 6585) – We have sold out
  • 451 Unavailable For Legal Reasons (RFC 7725) – Council health inspector says we have to shut down until we get rid of the “hamsters”
  • 500 Internal Server Error – The server dropped it on the floor (eat in only)
  • 501 Not Implemented – You can ask for toppings we don’t have but we still don’t have them
  • 530 Site is frozen – If you buy pizzas from Iceland then you have to cook them yourself.

For anybody who doesn’t get the joke, this is list is derived from this.

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April 17, 2018. Food, IT, Silly.

One Comment

  1. Rik Howard replied:

    My guess is that the underlying cause was a 418

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