Groundhog Day

counterfeit cabbage

“I say. Have any of you chaps seen my cabbages?”

Every day is the same.

You wake up to the Today programme on Radio 4.

The News is more about what it is alleged is going to happen today than about what happened overnight or yesterday. The News says that today is the day that the government (in the form of Theresa May, David Bloody Davis, Boris Counterfeit Cabbages Johnson or some other dingbat) will finally announce wtf Brexit (means Brexit) actually means. Everybody gathers round to finally find out what the hell is going on and every day it is a complete waste of everybody’s time. There is a mixture of platitudes and vague denials but no solid, meaningful statement as to what the UK wants out of Brexit. Nothing! I honestly have less idea what Brexit means now than I did two years ago.

I don’t know. Michel Barnier doesn’t know. Donald Tusk doesn’t know. Angela Merkel doesn’t know. David Davis doesn’t know. Theresa May doesn’t know. Boris Johnson appears to be trying to remember where he left his trousers.

Maybe they will work it out tomorrow.

(Update: They didn’t. There was just some more waffle about the transition period which only departed from the vague to take a minor detour into the delusional. Was there ever anything simultaneously as terrifying and as boring as Brexit?)

You go to bed.

Every day is the same.

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February 20, 2018. #Brexit, Counterfeit cabbages, Media.

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