Guest Post: Beware of Counterfeit Cabbages

counterfeit cabbages

“Counterfeit cabbages? Crikey!”

Like all leading bloggers, I am occasionally contacted by people offering to write guest posts. Up until now I have resisted these requests but recently I was offered an opportunity to publish an important message which I believe it is strongly in the public interest to circulate as widely as possible and I happily agreed to allow its inclusion.

Please welcome our first guest author: Captain Cabbages.

Hey kids! It’s Captain Cabbages!

I don’t think many children read this blog.

Leave the guest author alone! Sorry Captain. Please start again.

Hey kids! It’s Captain Cabbages!

These are troubled times and unscrupulous people, who will do anything to make money at any time, have sunk to a new and despicable low. I refer of course to the menace of counterfeit cabbages sweeping our land. As #Brexit forces up the price of everyday foodstuffs, more and more cash strapped shoppers struggle to afford their daily cabbages and many unknowingly fall victim to those secretly peddling unwholesome substitutes.

To counter this menace the Royal Vegetative Society will be circulating posters to be displayed at greengrocers nationwide. Of course, that is of limited help to those who shop on-line, so I am grateful to this blog for allowing me publish this important warning here.

Warning: Counterfeit Cabbages

Lactuca Sativa Capitata Brassica Oleracea Gemmifera counterfeit cabbageAlexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson
The “Pale Imitation

This is just wasting your time. Nobody wants this.

The “Short Measure

This looks huge but is really only 3cm across. Nobody wants this.

The “Utter Pillock

This one thinks he is up to the job but he really isn’t. Nobody wants this.

So remember kids, always keep an eye out for counterfeit cabbages and report any you find to the Foreign and Commonwealth Office.

About The Author

Captain Cabbages served 31 years in the NAAFI rising to the rank of captain. In civilian life he is director of the National Cabbage Authentication Institute and a fellow of the Royal Vegetative Society. He insists that he did not make any of those things up. He also denies that he was expelled from the Worshipful Company of Grocers for “being a bloody nuisance”.

Copyright Information

All images in this page are reusable images taken from the Wikimedia Commons. Click each image for specific copyright and licensing details.

November 13, 2017. #Brexit, Counterfeit cabbages, Politics, Silly.


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