Root Vegetable Apocalypse II: The Terror Of The Turnips

This is a place-holder for an article about Boris Johnson that I am too depressed to write at the moment.

OK. I’m ready for this now. It won’t be much more than a rant but that’s all he deserves.


You utter, utter pratt.

You didn’t believe in Leave. You didn’t think they could win. Possibly, without you, they couldn’t have. So you threw in your lot with a team in which you didn’t believe, and a policy which you knew was wrong, solely in the hope of damaging the Prime Minister. Your plan was to inherit a narrow Remain vote which you could pretend to reluctantly respect as you took the top job for yourself.

Instead you won. You have screwed over millions of British people for many decades to come, just to achieve your petty objective of damaging David Cameron. Well, at least that bit worked…

So the way was open for you. The dream you always had, finally to become the cock crowing atop the dungheap of what was left of England (and Wales), was within reach.

And then you chickened out!

Did Theresa May threaten to stab you or something? Did you belatedly realise that being Prime Minister is a lot of hard work, most of which has to be done with your trousers on? Did you imagine yourself at the dispatch box, facing a selection of the people you betrayed, trying to answer questions of which you had no advance notice? Did you realise how stupid your incoherent bluster would look written down in Hansard, even after the editors would have taken all your “Well. I. Um. Crikey.” filler out of it? Did you fear that the Queen might set the corgis on you?

Boris. You are a coward. A coward, a hypocrite and an utter, utter pratt.

At least the Queen is spared the indignity of having to take tea with you on a weekly basis.

Update: 3/7/2016:
I have been considering that maybe I should say something about Gove. Unfortunately, I can’t think of anything that wouldn’t get me thrown off so I won’t.


June 28, 2016. #Brexit, Politics.

One Comment

  1. Rik replied:

    Big thumbs-up emoji!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Trackback URI

%d bloggers like this: