Hypocrisy II – Financial Edition

Let me see if I have got this right?

  • If the US stock markets go up on any given day this is because Donald Trump is some sort of an economic genius and is Making America Great Again by giving tax cuts to millionaires paid for out of goodness knows what?
  • If the US stock markets go down on any given day this is because the Federal Reserve Bank of the USA is somehow “out of control” by correctly fulfilling its remit to maintain control of the fiscal situation by setting appropriate interest rates?

Now I may just be a lowly Keynesian dipshit, with a mediocre ‘O’ level in Social Economics and absolutely no grasp of the genius it takes to set up a catastrophic boom and bust cycle in the world economy, never mind the logic of why anybody would want to do that in the first place, but even I can see that these two ideas don’t easily coexist.

So, Donald, do you want to own this or not? Make up your mind. Whose boat is this boat? You need to decide before the ship sinks.



October 13, 2018. Money, Politics, Sensible. Leave a comment.

52 is The Largest Number

counterfeit cabbages

“Post-truth? Keep up at the back, you chaps. I’m now fully post-shame!

Now, there may be some number theorists scratching their heads at the headline here but let’s let everybody’s least favourite cabbage counterfeiter “explain” via the medium of the twit:

Boris Johnson
Verified account

This is an important moment. Clearly No10 are negotiating a “backstop” that makes the UK a permanent EU colony. We cannot escape EU laws & ECJ until they allow us to – which they may never do. That’s not what the biggest majority in our history voted for #NoColonyStatus 1/4

Is he channelling Trump?

Reckless disregard for truth? Check. Mostly incoherent bollocks? Check. Multitweet twattery? Check. Yeah, he is channelling Trump as best/worst he can! He possibly imagines that he too can build a seething personality cult by feeding dysfunctional morons melodramatic stuff that conforms to the vague shape of their prejudices despite making literally no sense but, much like his sordid private life, he has messed it all up.


October 10, 2018. #Brexit, Counterfeit cabbages, Politics, Rigged Polls. Leave a comment.

Western Art History

I was pleased to see that defunct website The Toast, which had vanished offline for quite a while, is back. There is no new content but nonetheless this represents an excellent opportunity to (re)read their entire Western Art History section. It is superb. In fact, it changed the way I see a certain sort of art. Whenever I see some historical artwork with little other interest to it I am now compelled to imagine an inappropriate narrative, dialogue or context for it. Unfortunately mine are not very good. These are:

See also:

October 7, 2018. Art, Links. Leave a comment.


Let me see if I have got this right?

  • Britain will be ending free movement after Brexit, right?
  • And the EU is the one which is behaving like the Soviet Union, right?
  • Because the Soviet Union was all about free movement for its citizens, wasn’t it?
  • And it was the free West that “secured its borders” with an Iron Curtain, wasn’t it?

Am I remembering this right? I mean it was a long time ago, wasn’t it?


Did I miss a memo or something? This makes absolutely no sense at all! In fact, it is counter-factual bullshit comparable to the lies of Stalinist propaganda from, um, you know, the actual Soviet Union.

I take no joy in seeing my country being humiliated, yet again, but I can hardly complain about all the people taking perfectly reasonable umbrage at this egregious claim. Their outrage is entirely justified. Unlike us, many of them actually lived for years with their necks under the Soviet jackboot. Our strawman feels rather less like a casual rhetorical device to them than it does to us. We trivialise their genuine suffering while talking up a completely false narrative of our own martyrdom at the hands of the EU.

In reality, we are slitting our own throats on an altar that we erected to our own stupidity. Nobody made us do it. We have nobody to blame but ourselves. The Brexiteers need to man up and own it!

October 4, 2018. #Brexit, Politics, Sensible. Leave a comment.

Massive Toad Confusion

Owing to a certain amount of reticence on the part of the UK broadcast media, I was made aware that Stormy Daniels has written a book in which she compares Donald Trump to a character called “Toad” but given little further context. Further investigation revealed that the Toad in question is not the one I had expected.


September 20, 2018. Books, Politics, Silly. Leave a comment.

Do we really do good in IT?

In the IT industry it is common, and very much encouraged, for us to assume that we are doing good for the world. Even we lowly systems administrators, who have to reinstall everything an average of 3.7 times for reasons far to sordid to enter into, imagine ourselves the heroic inheritors of the legacy of Alan Turing. Like we personally won WWII or something. We assume that we are building a brave new world. We don’t spend much time wondering if we actually do good. We certainly don’t spend any time wondering if we do any harm. That’s just those nasty blackhat guys with their hacking and viruses, right? Right? I mean, we are not like those old time doctors who believed the theories of Galen, who never washed their hands and who killed more patients than they cured? Right? Right?

I have my doubts. And so does James Mickens. He worked for Microsoft for 6 years and  is now an associate professor at Harvard. He knows of what he speaks! If you still believe in the transformative power of IT to protect and empower the human race (or if you just want a good laugh at our industry’s expense) then you need to watch this video:

Q: Why Do Keynote Speakers Keep Suggesting That Improving Security Is Possible?
A: Because Keynote Speakers Make Bad Life Decisions and Are Poor Role Models

September 18, 2018. IT, Security, Sensible. Leave a comment.

Weird Day Out in London

Do you ever feel that there is not enough weird stuff going on?

With Trump and Brexit, not so much.

That was a rhetorical question.

Well, if you are in London and you want to see some top grade weird stuff then I can strongly recommend that you get the tube to Holborn.


September 13, 2018. Art, Links, London, Sensible. Leave a comment.

Political Pandemonium

So let me see if I have got the UK political situation straight:

  • We face the biggest economic crisis since 1929?
  • We face the biggest political crisis and existential threat to the UK since 1939? (OK, you can include the Soviets as far as the early to mid 1980s if you really want to.)
  • The Tory party is more interested in tearing itself apart over the factional elements of the Brexit negotiations than it is in reaching a deal and trying to make it work?
  • The Labour party is more interested in tearing itself apart over the factional elements of the anti-Semitism row than it is about sorting it out and trying to move on?
  • The Lib Dems have fallen asleep on the bog with their trousers around their ankles and their credit cards strewn over the floor?*
  • Nobody has a clue what to do. The whole country has turned into this guy**:
  • Memes. LOL.
  • We still face the biggest economic crisis since 1929 and the biggest political crisis since 1939?

Any questions?


September 2, 2018. #Brexit, Politics, Sensible. Leave a comment.

Recipe: Cursed Bolognese

What the hell is “cursed bolognese”?

Spaghetti Bolognese made with a cursed onion, obviously.

What the hell is a… No. No! No! No! I’m not going to rise to it! You can handle this one on your own. I’m out!

Cook your own dinner then…


August 29, 2018. Food, Silly, Spooky nonsense. 1 comment.

SEO Speedwagon: Trump News Edition

I’m giving Boris the day off. You know who’s getting it this time?

No! I’m sick of all this Trump News!

Oh come on. You love it really. You want to read all the latest Trump News!

No. I’m fed up with him! Trump is mentally subnormal. He is not only an embarrassment to his country. He is not only an embarrassment to his species. He is an embarrassment to all eukaryotic lifeforms. ELIZA would beat him in a Turing Test.


August 28, 2018. Clownhat SEO, Media, Politics, Silly. Leave a comment.

Next Page »